The Space Between…

The Space Between. I love this phrase. It came to me as the name of my private practice when I was first starting out as a therapist many years ago. I was doing an experiential exercise focused on identifying my passions as a psychotherapist and those words kept repeating in my mind. 

It is not new or original to me. It is a phrase seen in literature by pioneering psychotherapists in the field of attachment and by some psychotherapists who focus on relationship work. The space between is technically a gap between two things. I’ve seen it used to describe the place between setting a goal and achieving it. And sometimes it’s referred to as the feeling of connection or disconnection between two people. It is intangible; it is invisible; it is felt and not seen; it is the journey.  

In therapy the space between might be the distance between starting the journey of therapy and accomplishing the healing or growth you set out to do. It is hard to define this space. It is where work and emotion and grit come alive.  It is the very place where change and healing happen.  

The space between can be like an abyss. And who in the world wants to step out into the abyss.  It is unfamiliar, unclear and sometimes scary. But without the abyss, without the space between, there is no connection between what is now and what can be.  

I love the space between. Not because it always feels good, though sometimes it does. I love it because I know what can happen in that space; the space between the beginning and the end; the space between people wanting to make a connection.  

I’ve experienced and witnessed transformational growth in that space. Leaning into the unknown or hurt or disconnection or fear is entering into the space in between. It stretches, pulls, and evokes until we land on the other side.  

Do not be afraid of that space. Embrace it. Seek help, safety and support… and lean in. It is a worthy journey - and it is yours.